


An Asshole in Love

by glitteryimagay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, M/M, play format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:58:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6611476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitteryimagay/pseuds/glitteryimagay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama is a strict, hardass boss who rules over his company with an iron fist. Kuroo and Bokuto decide to snoop into their boss's personal life after hearing about the existence of a fiancee. Watch as they nearly get fired pretending to be secret agents on a mission to discover just who is Kageyama's lover!</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Asshole in Love

**Author's Note:**

> So I had to do a one-act play for my playwriting class. I decided to change it up and adapt it a bit in order to fit the haikyuu characters. This is an adaptation of my play, so if characters are a bit OOC? That's why. Anyway, hope you enjoy this! Created by the older sister, Metano <3

 

_The Strict Hardass Boss: Kageyama Tobio_

_The Mysterious Spouse: Hinata Shoyou_

_The Antisocial, Blunt IT Head: Kenma Kozume_

_The Charismatic Human Resources Head: Kuroo Tetsuro_

_The Hyperactive Marketing Head: Bokuto Kotaro_

_The Calm, Cool, Collected Secretary: Akaashi Keiji_

 

**SCENE I**

 

 _Stage is dimmed. Kuroo walks out into m_ _iddle of stage, where a spotlight shines on him._

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Speaking to audience)_ This is the story of a man so cold, he practically froze hell over. With sharp cheekbones that could cut glass and a gaze so harsh it could make any grown man cry, this man ruled over his company with an iron fist.

 

 _Bokuto walks out onto stage to the l_ _eft of Kuroo. Spotlight now focuses on him._

 

Bokuto 

 

 _(Speaking to audience)_ This is a story of a man so in love, he gave all his good will to his lover. With a soft gaze that could warm a room and a whisper so tender it practically sung, this man doted over his lover with a gentle touch.

 

 _Kenma walks out onto stage to the r_ _ight of Kuroo. Spotlight focuses on him._

 

Kenma 

 

 _(Speaking to audience)_ This is a story of a pair of coworkers so curious, they practically got any work done at all. With a lack of moral obligations unparamounted by any other and a sense of pride so large it surpassed that of ludacris, this pair of coworkers investigated their boss with no care for their job security.

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Stepping into spotlight)_ Oi! Kenma! That’s not what we had written in the script we gave you!

 

Bokuto 

 

 _(Also stepping into spotlight)_ Yeah! What the hell Kenma! After we spent so long rehearsing this too.

 

Kenma 

 

I never agreed to be a part of this. And by script do you mean that napkin you handed me that had random words scribbled on it and ketchup stains?

 

Kuroo 

 

Hey! We spent a long time working on that!

 

Bokuto 

 

Yeah! We skipped our whole lunch break to work on that. Now all our effort is wasted!

 

Kenma 

 

Can we just finish this? That lady down on the third floor called in again about her computer being a fire risk and I really don’t want to get my ass chewed out again by Mr. Kageyama for ignoring a “fellow coworker”.

 

Kuroo 

 

Well maybe if you didn’t ruin it, we would have been done by now!

 

Bokuto 

 

Okay, on the count of three! One...two...three!

 

Kuroo, Bokuto, & Kenma 

 

This is the story of a cold man ruling his company with an iron first, a man in love doting on his lover with a gentle touch and how it was revealed they were one in the same.

 

**_END of SCENE I_ **

  
  


**SCENE II**

 

 _Kageyama sits at the head of a t_ _able in a board room. Bokuto, Kuroo and_ _Kenma enter and sit down around table._

 

Kageyama 

 

Men, I asked you all last week to be here at 12:00 PM Monday sharp. It is now 12:27. I feel like I have the right to ask you all something...WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!

 

Kenma 

 

We were having a slight issue in the IT department. Some idiot in the marketing department-

 

_(Glares at Bokuto)_

 

Accidentally set off the alert system and locked down the entire top floor.

 

Bokuto 

 

Hey! It's not my fault!

 

_(Glares at Kuroo)_

 

I was sent a bogus email from some dumbass in the HR department!

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Chuckling evilly)_ I wonder who did that. Maybe you shouldn’t be so gullible. I mean really, who opens an email with the subject “Open this for a free membership to eHarmony.com!”

 

Bokuto 

 

 _(Reaching across table, trying to grab Kuroo)_ Shut up you smug bastard! Not everyone can charm their way into any ladies pants like you! I’m lonely man alright?

 

Kenma 

 

Really Bokuto, you should know better by now. How many times has he done this to you now? Three? I would really appreciate if you stop opening them and setting off the firewall. And Kuroo, I don’t know where you keep finding these viruses or how you know how to put them in emails, but if you do it again, I will have to lower your internet privileges again.

 

Kuroo 

 

Come on man! Don’t do that! It makes me feel like a little kid when the only thing I can do is email people and use word and that shit.

 

Bokuto 

 

Well maybe if you stopped sending me those emails, he wouldn’t have to ta-

 

 _Kageyama clears his throat and they a_ _ll immediately go silent and freeze._

 

Kageyama 

 

So you are telling me the reason we had a level 4 security alert and you are late to this meeting, is because you were goofing off?

 

_(All three slowly nod)_

 

YOU THREE ARE SOME OF MY TOP MANAGERS! EVERY TIME YOU DO THIS, WE LOSE MONEY! STOP FOOLING AROUND OR ELSE YOU ARE ALL FIRED!I WILL PERSONALLY ENSURE YOU WILL NEVER GET A JOB IN THIS INDUSTRY AGAIN!

 

_(All three mutter yes sir)_

 

 _(Glaring darkly)_ Now, I want to get to what this meeting was supposed to be about.

 

As you all know, we are expanding into another state next month. We need to hire more mid-level people to fill the gaps created when higher promotions were offered at the new site, as well as one hundred or so workers to fill the new research section opening in two weeks. Bokuto, I need you to do a focus group and see which advertisement will attract the most potential applicants. After that, contact the hiring agencies, freelance advertisers and fill out offerings on the top ten most visited job offering sites. I expect it done by tomorrow morning, 8 AM.

 

_(Bokuto nods animatedly)_

 

Kuroo, I need you to work out an interview process. Streamline it and make it as efficient as possible. Send me a completed version before 5 PM tonight. I expect no less than twenty applicants to be interviewed a day. I want the best of the crop to be sent to me at the end of every day for review.

 

_(Kuroo gives thumbs up)_

 

Kenma, I need you to prepare the system for an influx of new staff members. Create at least one hundred new secure user domains by the time you leave tonight. Place in holder names until the new workers have been hired.  Also, I need you to make a program to keep records of the applicants, along with vital information, that Kuroo can use to take notes on the applicants. I need this done by tomorrow at noon, when the first interviews will be taking place.

 

_(Kenma nods stiffly)_

 

Okay, contact me with any hold ups. Thank you men, and don’t make me remind you what I said earlier.

 

_Kageyama glares as he walks off stage._

 

Kuroo 

 

Seriously?! What is wrong with that guy? How does he expect me to get all that done in that amount of time?

 

Bokuto 

 

He’s a slave driver for sure. How am I even supposed to find enough people for a focus group by tonight? And I have to make advertisements for them to react to first! Oi oi oi, he has got a serious stick up his ass.

 

Kuroo 

 

More like a tree if you ask me.

 

Bokuto 

 

Fuck that! He’s got the whole damn forest shoved up there!

 

Kenma 

 

How about instead of talking about objects up your boss’s ass? You actually go do the things he asked for before he kicks your ass. I’m out of here. I’ve got shit to do.

 

Kuroo 

 

I guess we should get to work too Bokuto.

 

**_(All three exit.) END of SCENE II_ **

 

**SCENE III**

 

 _Kuroo, Bokuto and Kenma are in break room the n_ _ext morning, sipping at their coffees and sitting._

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Sighing)_ Today is going to be utter hell. I don’t even know how I am going to get through twenty applicants in a day. Does he not realize how much time needs to go into interviewing each person?

 

Bokuto 

 

You don’t even get to talk! I was here until 10 last night running that damn focus group! By the time I managed to make up a few different examples and find enough people, it was already 9! I feel like I just went to sleep.

 

Kenma 

 

 _(Holding head)_ Can both of you just shut up? I have the worst migraine right now. I didn’t leave until 11:30 last night. I feel like my eyes are going to fall out of my head from how long I stared at a computer screen yesterday.

 

Kuroo 

 

We better be getting paid overtime because this is ridiculous. It's like he doesn’t even realize how much time and effort these things take!

 

Bokuto 

 

It's probably because he never had to work hard a day in his life. He was practically given the CEO position from his father.

 

_Enter Akaashi._

 

Akaashi 

 

 _(Heading towards coffee pot)_ Good morning sirs.

 

Kuroo 

 

Good morning Akaashi. How’s he treating you? Running you into the ground like the rest of us?

 

Akaashi 

 

 _(Stopping to turn and look at Kuroo)_ Not horribly so sir. You know, I heard you talking earlier and I apologize if this is rude, but you are wrong. Mr. Kageyama wasn’t just handed this job. He was interviewed along with all the rest of the applicants.

 

Bokuto 

 

So what? That was just a formality. Obviously he was going to get the position. That was just to keep up appearances.

 

Akaashi 

 

Again, I apologize, but you are incorrect sir. He was chosen by a board of interviewers who were brought in from outside the company and were unaware of his relation to the CEO. Applicants were given only numbers, no names, during the interviews.

 

Kuroo 

 

Okay? So what. He managed to get this job fairly, big deal. That just means he charmed the interviewers. He wouldn’t know the meaning of hard work if it slapped him right in the face! We were here late last night while he was probably at home, lazing around his couch and eating dinner with his cat or something.

 

Akaashi 

 

I beg to differ Mr. Kuroo, as you are unfortunately, incorrect again. Mr. Kageyama never left last night. He pulled an all-nighter to ensure all things were prepared for today.

 

Bokuto 

 

What? Seriously? You’ve got to be pulling my leg Akaashi. Mr. Pole-up-his-ass staying here all night? Pfft, now that is a joke if I ever heard one.

 

 _Enter Kageyama looking exhausted and out o_ _f it. He shambles in, acting almost drunk._

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Mumbling as he shambles towards coffee pot)_ Mornin’ men.

 

Akaashi 

 

 _(Walking towards him)_ Sir. What are you doing in here? I told you I would get you a coffee.

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Lazily slapping things together to make a coffee)_ Takin’ too long. I got it. Don’t worry.

 

_(Finishes making and takes a long sip)_

 

Ugh. Tastes like dirt.

 

 _(Waves with left hand, gold ring visible)_ Bye men. Keep up the good work.

 

_Kageyama exits._

 

Bokuto 

 

 _(Pointing animatedly at door)_ Did you see that?!

 

Kenma 

 

 _(Staring in awe)_ I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look like that. He looked dead.

 

Bokuto 

 

That’s not what I’m talking about! Sure, that was weird but didn’t you see his hand? He had a ring! That wasn’t there last week!

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Looking shocked)_ Now that you mention it, he did have a ring. I didn’t notice it yesterday. You don’t think…

 

Bokuto 

 

No, it can’t be! Who would wanna marry that guy?

 

Kuroo 

 

It has to be like a family thing or something. There is no woman on this earth crazy enough to marry him.

 

Akaashi 

 

Actually sir, I believe he got engaged over the weekend. He mentioned needing to leave early last friday for a special occasion and a few weeks ago, he asked me to compile a list of jewelers in the area.

 

Bokuto & Kuroo 

 

WHAT?!

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Running at Akaashi and grabbing his shoulder)_ Are you being serious right now? Tell me you are joking.

 

Akaashi 

 

I am being serious sir. He even sent me to pick up the rings last thursday. Would you like to see the receipt?

 

 _Kuroo and Bokuto sit down at table, looking l_ _ost and confused. Akaashi exits with a nod._

 

Bokuto 

 

That poor woman. She probably has no idea what she is getting into.

 

Kuroo 

 

I’ve got it! Maybe it's an arranged marriage!

 

Bokuto 

 

Oi! That’s brilliant! That is the only way a woman would ever marry him. No way would someone willingly be stuck with him for the rest of their life. That would be like signing your own will.

 

Kenma 

 

You don’t know it's an arranged marriage. Maybe he loves her.

 

Kuroo 

 

Kageyama Tobio? Love someone? Are we talking about the same person? You’ve got to be delusional from lack of sleep. Kageyama Tobio is a rage-a-holic hardass who drives his minions into the ground.

 

Bokuto 

 

Dude, we need to figure out who this woman is. I bet she doesn’t even exist. It's all some elaborate scheme thought up to make him seem like less of a bastard.

 

Kuroo 

 

Oh, you know I’m game. Operation Find the Demon’s Mistress is on!

 

Kenma 

 

You two are idiots. I want nothing to do with this stupidity. I’ve got work to do and last time I checked? So do you.

 

_Kenma exits._

 

Bokuto 

 

How are we going to figure out who she is? It's not like we can just ask him. The last time someone asked him about his personal life, he sent them flying through his office door!

 

Kuroo 

 

Don’t worry Bokuto. All we gotta do is follow, listen and observe.

 

Bokuto 

 

Oo this is going to be fun. It's like when you were a kid and pretended to be a secret agent.

 

 _Bokuto and Kuroo leave, humming mission impossible m_ _usic under their breathe and chuckling to themselves._

 

**_END of SCENE III_ **

 

**SCENE IV**

 

 _Kageyama, Akaashi, Kuroo, Bokuto and_ _Kenma sit around a table in the meeting_ _room the next day. Kageyama’s phone starts_ _to ring, playing a highly inappropriate r_ _ap song with a lot of swearing and yelling._

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Nearly dropping phone in haste to answer)_ Hold on one moment. I apologize for this interruption.

 

_(Brings phone up to ear and turns around)_

 

 _(Whisper-yelling)_ What the hell did you change my ringtone too?! Stop messing with it and making me look like an idiot. And I told you not to call me during meetings babe.

 

 _(Listens to person on phone)_ Oh! Okay fine, yeah, Okay! That is a good reason to call. Thank you  for telling me Hinata.

 

 _(Glares at phone while listening to them)_ No no no don’t! Ple-Agh! Hung up on me.

 

 _(Turns back around to look at group)_ Sorry for that. Alright, this meeting was called in order to discuss the applicants interviewed yesterday. Akaashi, take notes please.

 

Akaashi 

 

Yes sir. Would you like them to be typed up and sent to you later?

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Sighing, speaks tiredly)_ Yes, that would be fantastic.

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Smug)_ Who was that on the phone? A friend of yours? Hmm? And how about that ringtone? Real edgy sir.

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Sputtering)_ No! That’s-that’s not-it's not any of your business! S-He-Someone changed it on me as a prank! We are here to talk about the applicants and that’s it! Okay so moving al-

 

 _(Knock on door)_ Dammit!

 

Akaashi 

 

Would you like me to see who it is sir?

 

Kageyama 

 

NO! I mean, yes, I mean, no that won’t be necessary. Stay here. All of you!

 

_Kageyama exits off stage._

 

Bokuto 

 

Dude! Where is he running off to? He never leaves a meeting!

 

Akaashi 

 

It must be important then. He would never leave otherwise.

 

Kuroo 

 

Do you think it has something to do with that clearly suspicious call he got earlier? I can’t believe we’ve only been investigating this woman for a day so far and we already know her last name! I mean, it is a pretty common one but who cares! 

 

Bokuto 

 

We are better spies than I thought! Maybe we should quit and go professional.

 

Kuroo 

 

Come on! Let’s try to hear them!

 

 _Kuroo and Bokuto run over to door and p_ _ut their faces against it trying to hear._

 

Kenma 

 

I hope he comes back in and catches you.

 

Kuroo 

 

Shut up Kenma! We can’t hear them over the sound of your patronizing!

 

Akaashi 

 

I agree with Kenma. I don’t believe that is a good idea sirs. Also, you know how Mr. Kageyama likes his privacy.

 

 _Kageyama can be heard off stage grumbling a_ _t someone. Footsteps head towards the d_ _oor. Kuroo and Bokuto run back to table._ _Kageyama enters holding a binder and glaring._

 

Kageyama 

 

Sorry for that. I forgot my binder with the printouts with the interview notes at home. And don’t you dare ask any questions or so help me, I will fire you all.

 

_(All nod stiffly)_

 

Anyway, let’s go through the eight people Kuroo picked out from the pool and see if any meet our standards. I assume you all read the interview notes that I sent out last night?

 

Kenma 

 

Applicant #11 seemed promising. I could use a new code guy who isn’t a thousand years old.

 

Bokuto 

 

He seemed a little wimpy if you ask me. I sat in on a few of the interviews at Kuroo’s request yesterday and I remember him.

 

Kuroo 

 

He was a bit of a nervous wreck. Then again, I happen to remember interviewing someone else a few years ago who was a hot mess. _(Gives a pointed look at Bokuto)_

 

Bokuto 

 

Shut up man! I was fresh out of college and had never been to an interview before! I’m not Mr.Charismatic like you.

 

Kenma 

 

Kuroo, you literally showed up to your interview fifteen minutes late with a iced coffee and a half eaten bagel wearing a bright red suit. I think if anyone should be embarrassed of their interview, it should be you.

 

Kuroo 

 

Hey! Don’t be dissing the red suit. People dig it. You are just jealous you can’t pull it off.

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(slapping the table)_ MEN! Can we please get back on topic?

 

_(Kuroo, Bokuto and Kenma nod slowly)_

 

Applicant #11, yes or no?

 

Kuroo 

 

I liked his freckles. I say we bring him on.

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Rubbing temples)_ I didn’t realize freckles were part of our company's’ requirements.

 

Akaashi 

 

Sir, would you like me to mention the freckles in the notes?

 

Kageyama 

 

What? No! Enough about the freckles! Ugh, Okay, were there any other applicants any of you three felt should be considered?

 

Bokuto 

 

Applicant #6 seemed promising. I could use a stable guy like that in marketing.

 

Kuroo 

 

What? No! I wanted him in HR! I have him on my list, see?

 

_(Shoves napkin in Bokuto’s face)_

 

See? I called dibs AND I have seniority.

 

Bokuto 

 

Hah? I called dibs first, and don’t go shoving your two years extra seniority on me man! That’s real low.

 

Kageyama 

 

Would you both just shut up?! We don’t need to decide where they are going yet. We are only trying to figure out who to possibly hire.

 

Akaashi 

 

Sir, would you like me to mention the aforementioned dibs?

 

Kageyama 

 

No Akaashi, I do not want you to mention their so-called dibs. Just write down the important stuff and leave out their stupidity. Is there anyone else? Otherwise I have somewhere I need to be.

 

Kenma 

 

Not really. The other applicant’s didn’t seem dedicated enough. Especially that pretty boy applicant #1.

 

Kuroo 

 

I actually kind of liked him. He had spunk.

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Slapping forehead)_ Okay, applicants 1, 6 and 11 are moving forward in the pool. Akaashi, make a note. So, besides preparing for another day of interviews I do not have any more instructions. I will see you men tomorrow, same time, for our end of the day meeting to discuss the next bunch of applicants. Good night.

 

 _Kageyama and Akaashi exit, Kageyama carrying an_ _athletic bag with him that he had next to his_ _chair below him._

 

**_END of SCENE IV_ **

 

**SCENE V**

 

 _Kuroo, Bokuto and Kenma are sitting in break r_ _oom that night, still working after Kageyama left._

 

Kuroo 

 

Where the hell was he in such a hurry to go? What was that he was carrying? Some sort of gym bag?

 

Bokuto 

 

I can’t believe he just took off like that while he expects us to stay late preparing for Kageyamarrow. What a hypocrite.

 

Kenma 

 

He was probably going to his monthly volleyball reunion.

 

Bokuto 

 

Wait what? How do you know that?

 

Kenma 

 

He goes on the last day of every month to play volleyball with his old college teammates. I guess they were pretty close. He posts pictures on Facebook every month.

 

Kuroo 

 

Wait?! Are you friends with him on Facebook?

 

Bokuto 

 

 _(In awe)_ He has a Facebook?

 

Kenma 

 

I’m not friends with him, but some of his profile is public. I like to look at the pictures he posts of his cat.

 

Bokuto 

 

Ah hah! We knew he had a cat!

 

Kuroo 

 

That’s besides the point! We need to see his profile! It could have vital information on who this Hinata woman is!

 

Bokuto 

 

Bro you are right! Kenma, show us this secret profile of his.

 

 _Bokuto and Kuroo slide over and sit very close t_ _o Kenma, who leans away from them at his l_ _aptop and looks at them with a blank look._

 

Kenma 

 

I just told you. I can only see what he has set as public, which is pretty much only his cat and the volleyball pictures.

 

Kuroo 

 

Well can’t you hack his account or something? Come on Kenma, we need this!

 

Kenma 

 

Kuroo, I am not hacking my bosses facebook. I like my job aside from having him for a boss.

 

Kuroo 

 

Come on Kenma! You know you love me. I’ll buy you that video game you kept talking about the other day. You know, that weird japanese import one.

 

Kenma 

 

 _(Staring at Kuroo before sighing)_ And the guide book. Buy the game and the guide book and I’ll try to figure out his password. I am not hacking his profile and running the risk of Facebook’s security going off.

 

Bokuto 

 

But how will you know what email?

 

Kenma 

 

Kageyama is extremely efficient and organized. He wouldn’t be the type to have more than one email. It is probably his work email.

 

Kuroo 

 

Good thinking Kenma! You are like some sort of detective.

 

Kenma 

 

Will you shut up? I can’t think when you are talking. Your stupidity is infectious.

 

Kuroo 

 

Oi!

 

 _Kenma brings up facebook and begins to type i_ _n Kageyama’s email and begins to bite on his nails._

 

Kenma 

 

 _(Mumbling, fast paced)_ He is a secretive man but he doesn’t exactly seem like the type to be too computer savy based off how many calls I get asking for help. I am assuming he would choose something easy, so as not to forget. Most people use something simple and sentimental, like a birthday or a loved one's name or a favorite pet. Seeing as he has a cat and an assumed lover, his password would most likely be something involving them. Facebook requires the use of at least eight characters, at least one uppercase letter, at least one lower case, at least one number and at least one symbol but if his account was created prior to the security updates, it will only need to be at least eight characters, with at least one number and one letter. I can’t imagine him forgetting his password and needing to make a new one, so he will probably have the same password used when he created the account. I can tell from his pictures that his account is at least five years old, which means the field of possible passwords is significantly decreased. His birthday is December 22nd. The name of his cat is buttercup and his lover is supposedly named Hinata, but I am unsure of how long they have been together, so he might have not used her name in creating the password, especially her last name. Therefore, I am going to assume it is something simple, involving his birthday and the name of his cat. He doesn’t seem like the type to spend long on trying to think of a password, as that would waste time and he is very efficient as I have stated. This means the first thing that came to mind or one of the first would be his password. Alright, let's try buttercup1222, as people normally tend to pick letters first and add numbers afterwards as an afterthought.

 

_Kenma types the password in on his computer._

 

Oh look, it worked.

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Staring in awe)_ I think that is the most I have ever seen you speak in your entire life. What was that?! You were like some crazy genius man!

 

Bokuto 

 

I feel like I am watching an episode of Sherlock. Kenma, are you secretly part of the CIA or something?

 

Kenma 

 

 _(Blankly)_ I was offered a job at the pentagon but turned them down to work here. I wouldn’t be able to play video games with the amount of security they have there.

 

Kuroo & Bokuto 

 

WHAT?!

 

Kenma 

 

I graduated at the top of my class from MIT. I thought I told you that? Anyway, here, I got you into his account. I expect that game on my desk by tomorrow morning.

 

_Kenma slides the laptop towards Kuroo._

 

Kuroo 

 

Thanks Kenma. You are amazing.

 

Kenma 

 

Just shut up and look for whatever it is you need. We can’t stay logged on long. He might notice.

 

 _Kuroo and Bokuto scroll stare at screen, m_ _aking random noises at different points._

 

Bokuto 

 

 _(Grabbing at hair and groaning)_ Agh! This sucks! There is nothing on here! The whole thing is full of his cat, volleyball and this ginger dude!

 

Kuroo 

 

How many pictures are there of them together seriously? And most of them are outside of the same restaurant. Maybe we should go and ask that dude. He clearly works there or something and he seems to be his best friend. He has got to know something!

 

Bokuto 

 

Good thinking bro! Let’s follow him the next few days and see if he goes there! Then after he leaves and we know that guy is there? We go in and talk to him!

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Chuckling)_ We are so figuring out who his woman is. High five dude.

 

_Kuroo and Bokuto high five. Scene fades to black._

 

**_END of SCENE V_ **

 

**SCENE VI**

 

 _Kuroo and Bokuto enter and walk up to_ _Kenma who is sitting at a desk, laptop open._

 

Bokuto 

 

This secret agent stuff sucks. We have been following that guy for the past two weeks every time he doesn’t make us stay late and all he does is go to that restaurant and then go home!

 

Kenma 

 

Well, did you talk to his friend?

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Grumbling)_ No, every time he went there, he didn’t even sit at a table! We would sit outside and look in through window and he never once sat at a table. We have no idea where he went! He would be gone for an hour, and then? He’d walk back out with nothing, get in his car, and go home! Not once did we see that friend of his. How weird is that?

 

Kenma 

 

 _(Shaking head)_ Did either of you ever stop to think that maybe he was going into the kitchen? You did say you thought his friend worked there.

 

Bokuto 

 

 _(Slapping forehead)_ Dude! Ugh! How are we so stupid? See Kenma, this is why you went to MIT and we didn’t.

 

_Enter Hinata, a take-out bag in hand._

 

Hinata 

 

Umm excuse me?

 

 _Bokuto punches Kuroo in arm and points to_ _Hinata, flailing before Kuroo shushes him a_ _nd turns to face Hinata, smiling awkwardly._

 

Kuroo 

 

Hello, how may we help you?

 

Hinata 

 

Do you know where To-to's office is?

 

Kuroo 

 

Umm...who? Did you just say To-To?

 

Hinata 

 

Oh! Sorry! Umm Kageyama, you know, Kageyama Tobio, the CEO.

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Sputtering)_ Uh yes I do. Right this way Mr…?

 

Hinata 

 

Shoyou. Nice to meet you! But oh, don’t tell Kageyama I called him that. He hates it.

 

Kuroo 

 

No worries, I won’t tell him. My lips are sealed.

 

 _Kuroo pretends to lock his lips and leads H_ _inata towards the office door, pointing to it._ _Hinata nods and thanks him before going through._ _The other side of the stage lights up slightly_

 _revealing Kageyama’s office, where Kageyama sits inside._ _They make random conversation as scene continues._ _The light fades slowly over time until they aren’t visible._

 

Kuroo 

 

Did you see that?! That’s the guy from his profile!

 

Bokuto 

 

Dude, we have to listen in on them. Maybe they will talk about his fiancee!

 

Kenma 

 

It was nice knowing you guys. Enjoy your unemployment.

 

 _Kuroo and Bokuto lean against office door, t_ _rying to listen. They begin to shove each other b_ _efore suddenly, the door opens and they fall i_ _n. The lights focus on the office scene, showing_ _Kageyama and Hinata making out on top of his desk._ _They jump apart upon hearing the crash of_ _Kuroo and Bokuto falling into the office._

 

Kageyama 

 

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TWO BARGING INTO MY OFFICE?! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

 

Kuroo 

 

His fiancee is…

 

Bokuto 

 

...a dude?

 

Kageyama 

 

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN HERE? I SHOULD FIRE YOU BOTH!

 

Hinata 

 

 _(Pulling on Kageyama’s arm, giggling)_ Baby, calm down. They were probably just curious. Don’t be so harsh on them.

 

 _Kageyama visibly relaxes immediately before sighing a_ _nd glaring at Kuroo and Bokuto who are still in a_ _pile of limbs on the ground staring in shock._

 

Kageyama 

 

I guess I should introduce you to these two dumbasses. Hinata, this is Kuroo and Bokuto, two of my department heads. Dumbasses, this is Hinata, my fi-fian-fiancee…

 

 _Kageyama looks down as he finishes, looking e_ _mbarrassed. Hinata steps forward, extending h_ _is hand to Kuroo and Bokuto, who shake it w_ _hile still on the ground. They get up after g_ _iving each other confused, pointed looks._

 

Kuroo 

 

Nice to meet you...again…I’m Kuroo Tetsuro.

 

Bokuto 

 

Hi... I’m the other dumbass...Bokuto Kotaro.

 

Hinata 

 

May I ask why you fell in the door? What were you trying to do exactly?

 

Kuroo 

 

We were kinda leaning on the door...and listening…

 

Kageyama 

 

Haven’t you ever heard of privacy?! I thought everyone already went home!

 

Bokuto 

 

We were sort of waiting for you to leave...to follow you...again…

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Slapping Bokuto on shoulder)_ Dude! What the hell! Way to rat us out.

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Angry to the point of fake-calmness)_ Are you trying to tell me that you have been following me? Because if that is the case, then surely, there must be a good reason for it. So men, what is your reason?

 

Kuroo & Bokuto 

 

 _(Backing up frantically together and running into wall)_ DON’T KILL US!

 

 _Kageyama walks toward them furious, about t_ _o hit them, when suddenly Hinata bursts out i_ _nto laughter, holding his stomach and b_ _ent over. Kageyama dead stops and looks back._

 

Hinata 

 

Kageyama, why didn’t you introduce me to your friends here earlier. They are hilarious! We should invite them to the wedding!

 

Kageyama 

 

Friends…? I think you mean pain in the asses! These two are always causing trouble and never getting shit done!

 

Hinata 

 

 _(Poking Kageyama in the shoulder)_ Oh relax darling. You always get so worked up. Remember how terrified people used to be of you in college?

 

 _(Mimicking Kageyama)_ DUMBASSES! MOVE YOUR ASSES! IS THIS VOLLEYBALL OR IS THIS A PAGEANT?!

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Huffing and crossing arms)_ I never said that.

 

Hinata 

 

 _(Chuckling)_ Close enough. People used to ask me if you were bullying me into being your friend. Oh poor Hinatamy, look at him, being bossed around by that big bad Kageyama. Somebody should save him bef-

 

 _Kageyama grabs Hinata, attempting to wrestle him b_ _ut it turns more into a tickling fight. Kuroo a_ _nd Bokuto look on in horror and confusion. Kageyama s_ _uddenly stops upon realizing they are still there._

 

Kageyama 

 

Uhh…That was nothing! You saw nothing!

 

Kuroo 

 

 _(Standing up)_ And I’m the queen of england. My my Kageyama, seems like you aren’t such a hardass after all, or should I say, To-to.

 

Kageyama 

 

 _(Groaning loudly)_ Hinata! You did not tell them you call me that did you?!

 

Hinata 

 

 _(Giggling and ducking Kageyama’s hand)_ Sorry To-to!

 

 _Light fades and then turns back on, focusing on t_ _he center of the stage where all characters n_ _ow stand, side by side and facing the audience._

 

ALL 

 

This is the story of a cold man ruling his company with an iron first, a man in love doting on his lover with a gentle touch and how it was revealed they were one in the same.

 

**_END of SCENE VI_ **

 

**_{END}_ **


End file.
